God give me the patience and the strength...7

[theotherhalf]

Wow! Great responses and advice...from ALL of you!
Thank You Thank You!!!

I don't remember you ever sharing him saying that he was sure he wanted a divorce. Is this a case of you putting words in his mouth?

Bill,
many many many times my H has said, demanded, screamed that he wants a D. That he was going to the L tomorrow, or next week. That it's time to get this taken care of. Sunday he said "I'll go file, I'll go this week, but I don't know who to go to, you seem to know all the L's" and then he went on about me seeing 2 L's and why, and why I didn't just file. And that was the end of it. And once again, he's done nothing, that I know of.

he's saying he is currently comfortable with things the way they are. In fact it sounds like he's saying, if you need a divorce, go get it.

and he says this as well...

An interesting shift in your thought process lately. Not sure if it's because of some of the advice being offered or what. Lately you're talking more and more about whether you should just believe him and move on, though it's clearly NOT what you want to do.

It is because of some of the advice. It is a cycle for me. It is because I'm so tired of all the hurt. It's because I'm confused. It's because I'm afraid that I am in denial and it's time to face reality. And your right 100%. I do not WANT a D. But I am starting to think maybe I am just fooling myself and I may not have a choice.

I would refuse to be close to him when I knew he was active with another person. In fact, I would put it on the table to him directly that as long as he is involving himself with another

This is a tough one. I don't know if he is involved with her or not. I got last months phone bill and he only called her 2 times. Previously it was 2-5 times a week. He only talked to her about 15 min. Before it was 45+. I don't THINK they are seeing each other. But I don't know. If I ask him, he says no. But has since day one. So until he tells me that he is totally done with OW. That she is gone from his life. He has not done this. She is still there to me. But less and less. And so I guess I want to be around him to

feel as many good feelings as possible as it related to me, our farm, our home, and our family. I WANT him thinking about the GOOD things he's missing.

NO relationship talks. NO pressure

My EXTREME downfall! I am working at it. Just not doing so good.

Stop making plans for something you really don't want.

Isn't that "denial" for what might HAVE to be...