WAW - Possible MLC I need help, WAWs advice

[thrillisgone]

LD- A couple of notes here. Positive signs do not equate to resolution. Do not stop doing what is working. If this true MLC it will take considerable time to resolve and she might cycle through hourly, daily, weekly etc. I would look for sincere remorse for the affair and the willingness to do counseling either solo or couple or both and a real willingness for honest communication. Secondly she must cut off the OM completely and with transparency. You don't want her to come back and then do this again...and again.

The OM relationships almost never last. From what I've seen personally and read, the OP is quite often someone who doesn't match up to the LBS in significant ways and is not someone the MLCer really wants anyway. The OP is perceived to be filling an emotional need for the MLCer. That can be something as simple as your spouse feeling attractive to another man. In my case the OM is 70 years old and my ExWs father is 69 and terminally ill. I don't think that is a coincidence.

OMs and OWs are just about never what the MLCer really needs or wants. Lets face it, the OPs are screwing around with married men and women and that says a great deal about them already. None of it good.

Your W is cake eating. If you were to issue an ultimatum of any kind it should be that she stop seeing this guy NOW or face the real possibility of losing her home, family and marriage. You don't have to threaten to divorce her but it must look like you are moving on, letting go and that divorce may be the next step.