Okay, the last WAW posting helped alot of us to see the WAW's perspective on things. Here's another question I had.
When my W dropped the Bomb, she told me she had feelings for another man and in the same sentence told me not to touch her again. No hugs, kisses, sex, etc.
It's now 9 months later and she is slowly warming up to our friendship again and no longer has an EA with OM. This past weekend, she actually came up and gave me a hug after a great family day together. Since then we had gone out to dinner and no hug.
I understand that the WAW needs to build up the trust, love and emotion in order to show affection. I guess my question is...how long did it take you to start physical affection with your spouse? This is especially for those who had EAs. Also, did they start off gradual like a hug or did you just do it out of obligation?
M-43 W-40 2D - 9 and 5
Emotion, yet peace. Ignorance, yet knowledge. Passion, yet serenity. Chaos, yet harmony. Death, yet a new life.
I touched H when I wanted to. If we had a big fight, then I wouldn't want him to touch me at all.
If we were getting along and he was being teachable and approachable.....then we'd be intimate.
It's very individual. Is her LL physical touch ? Is she a touchy feely person. If it's been 9 months, I'm guessing she isn't.
You could always ask her, "can I give you a hug".
H asked my permission to touch me for months. Sometimes it was yes, sometimes no.
M 19 years, MC for 8 months, DB'd for 8 months 4 kids; 18, 15, 14, & 10 I was never meant to be a doormat. It took me years of therapy to become assertive enough to stop his abuse.
