No I didn't start yet. I was busy all day yesterday but I have the day off today so I will probably start writing a first draft.
So yesterdays date went well. There were a few rocky patches when R talk came up (some by me, some by him) and while we did not argue there was definatly tension. I was already in a bit of a mood because I was not feeling well. But we pulled it back togther and had a good night together.
One thing that was said that is still bothering me was this friends topic. There was a moment or two last night when I just wanted to say "screw it" and move on without him because I am tired of feeling like I am less important than his friends. I asked him if the friends issue was a dealbreaker and he said it wasn't but that it didn't help my case (what case! He's the one who brought this moving in together idea up!) Basic refresher on this I don't want his friends coming over to our house but I have had friends over in the past. I admited to him that it was a double standard but that it all comes back to boundaries. Im not going to have my friends over that often and when I do it's for a few hours to watch a movie or something and never last minute! Whereas he would have friends drop by, stay for hours, take up the whole living room, and one time showed up and stayed the night. Ugh. I asked him why he couldn't just go and do things with his friends at their houses instead of at our house and he said he could if I would let him. I once again admitted that I had been too controlling in the past and wanted things to change but that I still feel that setting boundaries is the only way to do this and asked what his idea would be. He didn't seem to want to set them. He was not raised with rules and boundaries so anytime I bring this subject up (even when our MC agrees with me) he gets withdrawn. So we changed the subject and moved on but it was such a frustrating conversation. I still don't know what to do about it.
Anyways we had dinner, went to a movie, and then went back to my house ML and then he watched another movie and I kinda dozed off in and out. Even though he tried to get me to stay awake. Lol. I was so tired!
Towards the end of the evening it just kinda hit me that I will only see him a couple more times before he leaves. It's so hard to deal with. Even if it is only a month that still feels like a long time to me, especially when we are getting so close again. I know it will be okay I'm just sad and will miss him.
I did end up showing him the list though but he was watching the movie and did not pay too much attention to it, which is fine. I will include it in the letter though so that he can think it over while he is gone.
I'll post the first draft here when I finish it. Thanks!
