Eric Clapton ~Wondeful tonite.... Its late in the evening Shes wondering what clothes to wear She puts on her make up And brushes her long blonde hair And then she asks me Do I look alright And I say yes, you look wonderful tonight
We go a party And everyone turns to see This beautiful lady Thats walking around with me And then she asks me Do you feel alright And I say yes, I feel wonderful tonight
I feel wonderful Because I see the love light in your eyes And the wonder of it all Is that you just dont realize How much I love you
Its time to go home now And Ive got an aching head So I give her the car keys She helps me to bed And then I tell her As I turn out the light I say my darling, you were wonderful tonight Oh my darling, you were wonderful tonight
Update~ Ok ...
I am seeing now how I let people use me for a doormat in the name of LOVE~!
Anyway I need advice ....
Cinco , especially you.
Yesterday was one of the ugliest days of my life and yet today I feel hope. My H said these things to me. Yesterday he was all about talking.
1. I am tired of this life { Remember English is hubbys second language} { Meaning they we he and I live { interact} 2. But I guess I have to put up with it. 3. I shouldnt have to tell you what is missing or wrong you should know. 4. I keep telling you the same thing over and over again. 5. That I am dry and unloving and not touchy feely at all with him unless I am tipsy. { this is partly true although he exaggerates it some b/c of the way he is feeling right now} { My self esteem sucks at times } 6. That in the 5 months he has been home he hasnt felt any love from me. { He wakes up happiest when I touch him a lot and I initiate genuinely and passionately} 7. Thats why he is going to work in XXXXXXX cause it hurts too much to be around me when I dont love him. 8. That he thinks when I say I love you I am just saying it. 9. I always interrupt him. 10. He needs me to put a smile on his face. 11. I am the one who has the power to change this and I dont want to.
12. I guess this is just the way I am going to have to live.
Funny thing is he is right , even though his version is exaggerated, I do see where I do these things. I told him I try so hard to please you and I cant seem to do anything right. That's why if I am tipsy I am more focused cause I don't worry so much is this right or THAT.
It started cause he said he was in a great mood and then when he met me at the gas station, I dint smile at him.... And when he confronted me and said why cant you smile. I didn't smile and instead said " well honey you dont always smile at me settle down...."
I can see if you are wounded where you would let this interaction hurt you a lot.
Help~ Please......
I do see his points and yet I feel stuck in myself and my self doubt. It is true I turn into this self secure delicious DIVA when I have had a few and I feel really secure in myself and give him the best of me and otherwise I am mostly this scared little mouse...
Oh and then his song for me came on ....
Eric Clapton... Wonderful tonight~
... I tried to control the tears... I walked upstairs... He called me down ... and he held me in his arms and danced with me and sang the song to me...
Boy was I crying at that point. I dont want to hurt him anymore Cinco. { You know like you said you felt so numb. Am I to blame for his drinking? It feel that way after he opened up his heart yesterday?} Please help. I want him to feel this great love I have for him in my heart, In his heart. I want him to know I love him...
~Ava
I will not give up , but I feel so bad for his hurt. I need help to open up and not be scared of living .....
