Positive developments?

[jon2911]

Update:

I followed the good advice (thanks Michelle!) and paid W to come do some work around the house. She’s amazing. Also, I was able to clear all my music stuff off the schedule and take a half-day off of work. The difference was incredible, as I got to focus on being with W.

W came in on a Wednesday night, and we had a great happy hour at our favorite Mexican restaurant. I need to remember what tequila does to W, as it resulted in some craziness in the car. Not complaining though

On Thursday I worked, then came home for a nice dinner and Grey’s Anatomy. Friday I took half a day from work and we went to the State Fair. Best time we’ve ever had there, and a great show from a new country band called Lady Antebellum. Saturday was relaxing, and Sunday we cooked out at the lake. Several times during the weekend I caught a certain look in her eye.

Overall, it was the kind of weekend that made me think about what marriage could be like. It was so nice. Just before she left, I was complementing her on all her work around the house, and said “how much would you charge for full time?”

This became a running joke, and a week later she was complaining about all her roommate and family drama, and said “maybe I should take you up on that housewife offer”. W is still broke, and now her family is pulling her into all the drama of SIL’s wedding. Still unclear whether FIL will be there, or if he’s even welcome. Even he doesn’t know.

I got these texts the next day:
“When I talked about wanting half a house there w/ you… please don’t take me too seriously.”

“We would have to talk through a lot of logical tangible things that would have to happen way before that”

I called her right away, kept it light, told her I understand that, but it’s fun to talk about. I expect the inevitable pull-back now and know how to deal with it

Over this past weekend, I played at a wedding, and she asked me how it was. I told her I cried a few times, and she said “weddings suck”. Then she threw me for a loop by suggesting we both secretly move to San Antonio and live together. We could have our stuff in different bedrooms, and if family visited, keep a door locked and act like it was just a room. She’d really thought it through. I said that could be a good idea (yeah right), while having an internal battle about how much I hate W’s family and how scared she is of them. She later told me she’s scared about trying again, and I told her I’m doing my best to take away that fear.

Early this morning she called after having a nightmare and we had a nice talk until I left for work. She said her C has told her she’s depressed, and that it gets more obvious from time to time. She started crying and wondered why she’s so sad. I told her it’s understandable, her grandpa isn’t doing well, weddings coming up. Talking every night and several times a day now.

She invited me in this weekend, I’m off Friday and leave Thursday night. Yay! Will read Michelle’s section on depression before I go.