Do not drop a bomb. The reaction you get will not be the one you are hoping for.
You need to try to compartmentalize your feelings.
Instead of trying to cope with this all-consuming pain, try categorizing it and acknowledging the individual aspects of it.
For instance:
The pain assciated with being abandoned by your her - Feel it, mourn it and own it - cry about it. Beat the hell out of something because of it. Then put it back behind the door and leave it alone for a while.
Next - the pain associated with the dreams you had for your golden years which now appear to be out of your reach. Do the same thing.
And so on and so on with each individual aspect of your pain that you recognize, do the same thing.
Keeping a clear head regarding all of the emotions you are going through will help tremendously.
Instead of being overwhelmed as you are now, I bet you will start to at least feel a little bit more in control if you try what I just suggested.
Again, do not drop any bombs unless you want to end up divorced.
