New Here-From Newcomers- hoping for more input...

[optimistwife]

Off from work now for a few days, so I finally get the chance to catch up on posts and how everyones doing.

My life has been put into perspective by talking to the daughter of my friend who recently was left by her H. She is pregnant with their 7th! I was glad she called, even though I don't know her well (yet). It made me feel good that I could help her. She is just one week from the bomb, and in that horrible paralysis/shock phase. Her first question was 'how do you survive this?'. I guess you just do. We are all survivors here. And look at how far we've come.

My other milestone was my birthday. I worked all day, so it really wasn't exciting. No one really knew it was my b-day at work, and it was a rather stressful day. I got Olive Garden take out food to treat myself- I just couldn't fathom the thought of a frozen dinner for my b-day dinner. The good part about b-days is having all my family call to wish me the best.

An interesting observation... My family's reaction to my sitch is that my H seems like a good guy overall, but mixed up, and the hope things work out. His family's reaction seems to be that maybe at some point I should just cut my losses and move on!?!
I reminded them that I love him, he's my H and I am not giving up on him.

What do they think it is to be committed? I guess if this is the model of a R that H grew up with- no wonder he is a mess.

We are in static mode- but in a fairly good place. He seems to be finding time to visit me on a regular basis, calls to chat, this morning called to ask if the pants and shirt he was goint to wear matched ;). But I also think he is back to communicating with his EA. I can tell by his instant message 'away' posts. Lots of little quotes that make me think that he is the persuer. He now lives in the same apt building, down the hall. Not sure where he is with that R, or what she thinks of all this- but I try to remember that the only one I can work on is our R.

I realize that I am lucky that here we are so many months out and all is not lost yet- especially compared to that first week when you think you really might just die (and want to).

I am thinking that I might try to find some time to visit my new friend; she sounds like she could use some help with all her kids and keeping it together. She already has the DR book, and is starting her coaching session today. It feels good to be able to give back, after being the one needing so much from others.