Hope4us struggle, part 9 or 10 or whatever

[Hope4us]

Thanks WDID.

I know I said I wasn't going to post much for a while but a couple of interesting things happened.

First, W does have an email account that I didn't know about. There's a big surprise. I saw her using it last night to email something we were messing with at home to send to her work email. I know everyone is going to say I should bust her on it, but really, to me, what's the difference between that and her having email at work that I can't see. This email is with a service that also provides IM so yeah, she could be contacting OM without me knowing about it both at work and at home when I'm not around, but I could honestly care less. I'm done spying and worrying about this crap. If she doesn't come around soon I'm outie anyway so if she wants to keep lying to me and is contacting OM, then F her. She'll lose both her H and her kids real soon.....

Ok, enough of the worrying H4U. Now to the part that was interesting.

Last night S16 went with the school Superintendent to a school levy rally. He came to pick S16 up. When he got there we talked for a few minutes with him and he commented on how nice our house was and the great view we have from the top of the hill where it is. When they left, W and I stood out on the deck talking for a few minutes and then it was quiet. And she was just looking at me with this weird look. It was almost like she wanted to say something but couldn't bring herself to. And the look on her face was a GOOD look.

We went inside and watched some t.v. for a bit and then watched the debate. I fell asleep part way through the debate and woke up when it was over. I asked W how the rest of the debate went and she couldn't look at me and didn't really answer. And I asked her who won in her opinion and she didn't really answer or look at me and she put her hand up and wiped her eye. I could swear she was crying. So I just said, "ok, goodnight" and she told me goodnight back in a soft, kind of weepy voice.

Don't know. Maybe she's figuring this out. We'll see.

Nothing here changes anything and I'm still not getting my hopes up, but she was really annimated last night discussing our vacation and such. And the PMS'ing is over so I just found this stuff interesting.