How to move foreward...

[native]

It looks like you are taking baby steps to try to refrain from pursuing him. Does it look like he is responding? Sounds like it.

Good for you ! Realize that H is like a skittish cat. You have to be very patient and do not chase after him.

I would avoid telling him ' I am too emotionally attached...' as it confirms what he already knows. You might say something like, 'I need time to think about what I really want here' or 'This situation is making me re-think some things' leaving it really vauge so he can start to wonder.

San, you are showing your first signs of strength, of controlling yourself. In this game you will need to keep your emotions in check, at least around H. Here you can let it all out and we will understand and continue to support and encourage you.

Have your read Divorce Remedy yet ? It might be time to start thinking about some 180s. You can search this site and find out examples from other's threads.

In a 180 we evaluate what we have been doing that doesn't work, and do an about face, then we moniter the results.

I sense that you have carried the lions share of responsiblity in the relationship and have let your husband be like an irresponsible kid. H needs to step up, but he won't unless you stop doing it all for him.

Maybe next time he wants to spend time w/kids, you could say 'Yes, and why don't you pick up dinner b/c I don't plan on cooking tonight ?'

Just an idea. Keep studying this site. Kudos for hanging in there. You are learning fast !