Phoenix...that's a nice thought. But the more I go over things in my head the more I close the door to her.
Today is her birthday. I got her a simple card and had the girls make her one each. Since it was her evening with them I picked up a cake and set it out for the three of them. I did what felt "right" to me and so the kids would have fun.
I was in group and W called many times to get my ETA. Then I went to the Gym and she called more to get my ETA. Then she texted that it would be common courtesy to let her know.
That was it. I decided right then that I was not going to be accountable to her on my nights out anymore. I felt like I had to check in with my wife but she didn't want to be that anymore.
I came home...and she asked the q's that I knew she would ask and I told her the above. She insisted it was common courtesy so I brought up all the courtesies she has failed to give me...like faithfulness. And I told her that I knew that she took the kids to meet OM in his parents apple orchard and that it wasn't ok. She said..."but that's different." I told her to go.
She didn't...
I sat down calmly and let her try to explain...I then told her that it wasn't ok and that the kids would know someday...that everyone would know. We talked about that and our M and the affair, she mentioned us not getting back together...and tried to further justify the apple outing as different because she's not "Dating" him. I told her it wasn't ok. We said a few more things and we wrapped it up.
She left mad. Too bad for her...
...I on the other hand feel ok. I got some stuff off my chest. We didn't yell or anything but for the first time I let it show calmly that I was angry at her and her choices.
Waiting at her house is the paperwork from the mediator.
I'm glad it came today.
Me:34 W:31 d's 5 & 10 M: 5 years, T: 8, Bomb1 3/8/08,#2:3/28/08 Asked 4 D:4/19/08, discovered PA 5/8/08,W moved out 6/30/08 W pregnant by OM: 2/17/08
