HI, your title caught my eye and I just read your thread.
My EX is very vindictive and childish. She has tried to sabotage me in anyway she can. That's her way of getting back at me. I just don't give her the chance. She has a lot of anger at me and I know it is displaced, sometimes people like her can't blame themselves so they blame others.
Talking about boundaries and breaking them. 21 months after the separation and 4 after the D. I moved out of the house we lived in into a new home. 3 months later, EX got key to MY house from D16 and entered my house. She snooped through everything, did laundry, and took food. When I confronted her, she didn't think there was anything wrong. I told her that she had no rights in MY house and that if she entered MY house when I wasn't home, even if D's were. I would have her arrested. I told her I could if I wanted to, for what she had done already. My point is, boundaries are a good thing.
As for your S's depression. My D16 went through it. She hated her mom for a while and hated me for a while. She was very depressed and sometimes still does get down. It is a normal procession for them, They are trying to figure out their world which has been torn apart. They will find their own path and figure out the truth. It sounds like your S is seeing things in his dad he doesn't like and that is why he is 'clamming up" to his dad. It is not your responsibility to 'fix' that. It is your STBXH's. Support and love your S. Be there for him. That is what he needs the most. A parent he can count on.
TD
TwinDragon Thread #11-Dragon, flying - evaluating his world.
