Digging in

[kat727]

Any progress made today? Just keeping up with you.

kat

[yenko69]

Not really. I imagine she is going to wait to the IC. Same one I use, so I have an idea what the IC is going to tell. The IC is still sure this can all work out, of course it is depending on the W.

D11 called me this morning and had gotten sick. She had tried calling my W, but could not get reach her. I tried calling the house, her cell and then sent her a text. I turned around and started heading back to pick up D11 if I could not get a hold of the W. Then she called.

She asked if D11 was sick or just feeling sick. I told her that she had gotten sick. She said she was in the grocery store and would head over to pick up D11. She said thank you very much. I told her you are welcome and said goodbye. She said goodbye and I hung up.

She called again this afternoon. She said she had my sunglasses and thought she would bring them to me since it was bright out. (she was going to town to get SD17) I told her I had my other pair with me and I would get those later. We talked a little bit about D11, who was in bed all day and did feel better. Thanked her about the sunglasses and said goodbyes.

As for me, I was down a little this morning. Then pulled myself out of it. Right now just exhausted. Work was so boring today, makes for a long 12 hours. Of course beats yesterday when we spent 3 hours sifting through soot looking for body parts. Did not find any.

Talked to a good friend about what had been going on. He did point out a couple things. At least she is going to see an IC to figure things out. He admired that I hung in this long. OM was a prob and when he was younger he would have beat him down. Of course ten years ago I probably would have.Told me to try and wait it out a little longer, would I leave her if she had cancer? His own M problem years past. Don't listen to the people that just say D her. Great guy.

I did consider more of the fact that she wants to see and IC about all this. I am happy she is starting to seek help for some of the problems she has. Just wait and see what happens.

[karen43]

I don't know how you do your job!!! It sounds so stressful. I hope they give you generous times off so you can decompress sometimes. The sharing of the IC sounds good; I think some WAS make the R sound so impossible and horrible, that it's good your IC probably has a clearer view of your M.

That sounds like a wonderful friend! He brought up some wonderful points, all true. How supportive he is. Even though it's been a little discouraging lately, overall it seems like you are in a much better place than you were a week or 2 ago. So just a little more patience; the first thing they told me here is you will have to have so much patience; it's like a marathon and you have to keep your strength and patience going. ((((Yenko))))

[kat727]

Sifting through soot for body parts...uh no thanks! I need to start watching the local news more because I didn't hear anything about that kind of thing. It's okay in a fictional book but not in real life. Freaky!1

kat

[yenko69]

The fire actually happened last Feb. The people who bought the house have been renovating it. They finally got to room where the lady died. The rp (reporting party) said she found some fingers and a larger piece of her. Just her imagination.

My cousin and uncle came, they are from the volunteer fire department. They brought brighter lights from the FD. Morbid I know, but was it family bonding? It did come up. Kind of freaky though when you are in a burnt out room in the middle of the day, where someone had died. Not real stressful though, done and seen worse.

Yeah, I do have some great friends. This one knows both of us really well. Someone my W has isolated. He did make good points. The IC really won't buy into the BS. She knows everything that has been going on. I have talked to her the last couple days and kept her updated.

[hopeful4her]

The friend is wise.

I hear everyday how I need to move on and D the wife.

[yenko69]

I do know a couple people who tell me to keep waiting. At least until it effects my mental health and have everything I can possibly do. There are the others though.

It is rough going from one direction towards a D. Then going to another future with the W. Finally back to limbo. I guess this is where you find out how really strong and patient you can be.

[Sugar and Spice]

What is it Tom Petty sang? The waiting is the hardest part...
I feel your pain Yenko. I have many virtues, unfortunately patience is not one of them...LOL! Maybe thats one of the lessons God is trying to teach me?

Keep the faith.

[yenko69]

I gonna skip the details on this. Basically we had back to back IC today. We agreed to see the IC alone and then together.

Basically my W cannot make a decision right now and is to confused. On and on.

Then she left and talked with the IC. The IC said she is worse then she was five months ago. IC said that W had deep psychological problems from her past and would be unable to get past everything until she gets these fixed. That she is running on emotional responses and the bad perspective that she has gotten from her past. IC said I could wait. I said I did not know how many months I could wait. IC said with her problems it was going to take at least a year, probably more to fix.

So that only leaves one choice. I hope she does continue with therapy and gets herself the help she needs. I can't hate her. I do feel sorry for all the the things that happened to her and made her this way.

[kat727]

So is OM out of the picture at least? Limbo is terrible just can't plan anything or really keep your life moving forward. It is kind of stuck like a broken record.

I am sure your C will help give you ideas to help her heal and move forward with you. Hugs.

kat