Well I'm not smart enough to know how to link effectively. Here it is...http://www.divorcebusting.com/forums/ubbthreads.php?ubb=showflat&Number=1600386&page=1&fpart=10
As for the aforementioned strange things.... Ok if you have read Michelle's thread then you would know that there is apparent strangeness in the air.
Well, H went to his IC yesterday and after his session he called me and we were talking and he was telling me about some of what they talked about. And in passing almost he tells me that he & the C are working towards him coming back home. The C agrees with his way of handling things, ie: waiting until this baby is born before he does whatever the hell it is he is going to do. He also told me that he feels bad, but he hopes that this child turns out not to be his because it will make it easier. When I asked him how/why it that would make it easier, he replied, "Well if its not mine, then I'm done." I said that may be all well and good, but she may not be and he said, "It doesn't matter what she does or thinks...its done."
So there is weirdness all around....
Opinions?
M:39 H:39 K:S14;D8 T:22yr M:15yrs S:12/28/07 EA/PA 3/14/08 OW preg 11/17/08 born 12/12/08 his ~~~~~~~ Never allow someone to be your priority while allowing yourself to be their option
Okay, I'm first. Like that other forum, I want a shot of Patron, please.
It sounds like he really wants to take steps toward you and he is just torn about what could be, concerning the baby.
He is saying that he hopes the child is not his, because then he can take steps back home to you and his kids. He is saying to you that if it is not his kid, it is done. Even if OW is not.
What that says is that if the baby IS his, he is going to stay with her even though he would rather be with you?
It sounds like he is saying that if the baby is NOT his, he will feel emasculated and cheated on and then doesn't want to be with her?
If the baby IS his, then he will realize that it IS her that he loves more?
WTF?!
How can he be serious? He is just goofy, suga.
Sorry. Maybe I'M confused.
Me 47, WW 38 SS18, D15, D10
Good Bye Girl. No longer SAYING she's moving out. GBG moved out 8-1-08
"I have now decided to enjoy life instead of figure it out."
I was trying to figure that out too! What difference should it really make whether the baby is his? If it is, then yes, he has some responsibilities. But those responsibilities don't require that he leave his family. I think his "brain" (using the term loosely) is a bit scrambled!
What that says is that if the baby IS his, he is going to stay with her even though he would rather be with you?
It sounds like he is saying that if the baby is NOT his, he will feel emasculated and cheated on and then doesn't want to be with her?
If the baby IS his, then he will realize that it IS her that he loves more?
WTF?!
How can he be serious? He is just goofy, suga.
Sorry. Maybe I'M confused.
I'm not sure, but I heard it more like this:
If this baby is not his then he won't have any other reason to have continued contact with her and then he can just be done.
If the baby is his then he and she will have to decide how custody, child support, etc...will work.
I say this because one of the other comments he made was: "Right now its just a waiting game, but after this kid is born and we decide what is going to be done about that, then my real work with the C can start."
It is goofy and confusing. I'm just not hanging my hat on anything these days. We'll just have to see how things go... I still have hope, but I'm also a realist.
M:39 H:39 K:S14;D8 T:22yr M:15yrs S:12/28/07 EA/PA 3/14/08 OW preg 11/17/08 born 12/12/08 his ~~~~~~~ Never allow someone to be your priority while allowing yourself to be their option
ACTIONS - NOT words. Words only lead to more confusion for you.
ACTIONS say everything.
He can wait all he wants. YOU don't have to.
GAL. Focus on and take care of YOU. That is your only responsibility in any of this.
(((((Corey)))))
Yep, you are too right. I am doing more of that these days. Its October, which means Halloween which is MY FAVORITE!!!!!
I have already started carving and I am getting ready to decorate the house...so I'm doing stuff for me. I am also doing a wedding this weekend. I only have to take the formal pictures and the ceremony, but it means some extra $$$, which means more Halloween stuff and a payment on my CC for the Kid Rock tickets.
I love that you keep me honest GF. Thats why I said it was strange. I have pinned my heart to too many "words" in the past. Show me the money, yah know? Thats one of the best parts, I don't have any responsibility in this and it makes things so much easier. I have so many less bad days. Right now I'm more stressed out at work than anything, but its good and being busy before was a way to excape and now its just work again. There is no constant drama and upheaval...I like it.
I love that he is working on himself with a C and hopefully he can find the answers to the questions that he has. This is for him and it will only serve him and in turn my kids in the end. Truly, if it doesn't ever work out, its ok. I'm gonna be fine and so will my kids and the world keeps spinning. I still have some hope, but its something that would be way, way...WAY far down the road. Who knows?
M:39 H:39 K:S14;D8 T:22yr M:15yrs S:12/28/07 EA/PA 3/14/08 OW preg 11/17/08 born 12/12/08 his ~~~~~~~ Never allow someone to be your priority while allowing yourself to be their option
I have pinned my heart to too many "words" in the past. Show me the money, yah know?
Ohhhh yeah - I know. I know ALL TOO WELL because I've done it myself, and nearly every time, I got burned, and that was my own fault. Even now, my H will often say things that I yearned to hear for such a long time.......but again, ACTIONS.
Actions will tell us everything we need to know.
Halloween - WOO HOO!!! I love it, too ! Christmas is more my favorite, but Halloween is a very close second!
Have fun decorating!!! And YAY to the extra dollar$$$!!!
(((((((Hang in there, Corey!)))))))
Getting over a painful experience is much like crossing monkey bars. You have to let go at some point in order to move forward. ~ Joseph Campbell
Halloween is my favorite too! I love it! I didn't decorate the house like I usually do, but it's decorated in fall "attire". D really needs to get her mind made up and decide what she wants to be for Halloween though! Pretty soon she'll have to go as a paper bag since the costumes will all be taken!
Do you carve traditional pumpkins, or do you go full out with the fancy carvings?
! Christmas is more my favorite, but Halloween is a very close second!
