So I'm going to continue to work on my 180's and watch how I ask questions, not say things that might seem as if I'm telling him what to do
This is very wise. I would advise to read For Women Only by Shaunti Feldham. She is a christian novelist who when surveying many men for a book about infidelity, found answers that were extremely baffling, so she did 2 more surveys of men, both christian and non-christian and wrote a book specifically about men and what they want/need/etc. It was very helpful for me to realize some of the things I was doing, that I thought were not a problem at all, were in fact belittling my H and just pushing him farther into the ground.
I saw your post on Gabby's, I only have like 3 threads, I'll try to find the old ones. you'd want the ones from 2006 though.
hey, so without me going too far back in your thread, where are you at in your sitch? He's still moved out right? but your going out together this week? That is good. One thing to note, things can seem to be better, but it doesn't mean the OW R is over. That will take time. The thing your H will be doing, is seeing if your changes are real. He's going to be watching. You want him interested in you, interested in what your doing. just continue to be slightly vague, and just be fun. make your life fun. force it if you have to, and fake it till you make it. it does work.
The OW is just a symptom, so leave her out of it completely. She matters nothing. I got a visual of mine as well, porn star/playboy look, made me feel REAL good. lol. but now, I don't even care about it, and I never think about her, and if I do, she means absolutely nothing.
Hope you have a great week. you can make it great! Thanks for asking for my input.
Me 33 H 34 S9 S3 M 6 yrs (2gether 11 yrs) EA/PA 1/2006 DB 5/2006 H wants D 6/2006 H wants ME 8/2006 H "said" PA/EA over 8/2006 H erased OW off phone! 2/2007
"It is far better 2 choose humility & change oneself, than 2 wait in vain trying 2 chang someone else."
