I think he needs to hear it from a 3rd party who he trusts. They have been telling him at Retrouvaille, but it is not sinking in. I imagine that he does not perceive that there is a crisis because BBJ is so good and constant and loving. But the crisis is there, and it is deep. There is just so far that you can drive a car with one flat tire. This marriage has gone years with at least one tire flat, and the stress is deflating the others. He doesn't see any crises outside himself because he is so wrapped up with his internal demons. If I read BBJ right, the storm clouds are gathering. Yes, I think an advisor of any kind who he respects and trusts could explain to him the need for him to actually participate in his own marriage. That person could be his IC or a Retro volunteer, or a good drinking buddy. The one person who he will never hear it from is BBJ.
