FL, you have to stop thinking in those terms. She wants it and it needs to be done, so she doesn't think the way you do. So it's nev er going to be a reasonable conversation.
Why don't YOU call the coach? You're home now. You're a man and probably more into hockey than she is. So offer to take that challenge. Offer to ask so you don't have to go through her - she would have to find out from you. Plus that's a thing close to your heart and you getting involved is a very thing, or would be.
I have 3 boys FL. And boys do cry. As long as we let them be human and allow them to, then they will be good strong humans in the end. But we can never bring it up a 2nd time and we can only remember those times in our hearts. See, being the mom of boys did teach me something.
Yuck, I am so glad I no longer have to worry about youth coaches. So many are not there for the right reasons. But to our kids, it's the only thing that matters in life, this I know. My boys were into baseball. So I know where you are.
It IS amazing what the WA's think FL. But it doesn't matter. Your kids need you. Just be there.