Sandi is here and things are getting better!

[sandi2]

Okay, to give you sort of a scenario I will tell you how it went this evening. My H comes in from work while I had just finished up the last post. He doesn’t come in where I am or anything, he just goes to the bathroom to wash up. So, I go to the door and ask him how he was. “Okay,” he says. But, when he is tired, he acts like he is ticked off. That is what a person would think just by observing.

I did not go back to the computer but went into the front room to watch TV. I was watching something when he came in and proceeded to change the channels without saying anything to me. He has been doing that lately.....just comes in and changes to some show that is half way through, when he knows I was watching something. But, it's almost like I have lost my TV rights.

I did not have any supper cooked and he doesn’t offer to fix anything for himself to eat. I don’t expect him to cook a meal for both of us, but the nervers in my legs are hurting and I don’t have the energy to cook something from scratch and we have nothing “quick” to fix. The thing is, he has always insisted on buying the groceries and it is a very sore spot with me, but if he is going to buy the groceries then he should have something easy to fix when we come in the evenings. This is the thing that gets me so frustrated and you men tell me if I am in the wrong and what I should do. Instead of going and getting some carry out or fixing something for himself to eat, he sits on the couch and “to me” is seems like he is almost feeling sorry for himself…….as if he is pouting. Now, I know him well enough to realize that he is not doing that, but it “appears” that is what he is doing and it just chaps my behind! I mean, I feel guilty enough, but that behavior adds to my frustration. And you know what? He will stay right there on that couch and go to sleep and never eat a bite of anything......as if to make me feel worse for not cooking. Again, this is how it "appears" and it drives me crazy. I know he needs a cooked meal and if I were able, I would do it, but why does he handle it this way?

I fixed some soup and asked him if he wanted some…..well of course he said no. I realize that isn’t much to offer a working man, but I suppose I spoiled him last week when I was able to cook two or three meals. It made him "happy" when he came in and saw supper cooked. Honestly, he was all smiles. But, today, I wasn’t able, so he acts all down in the dumps and makes me feel like a heel. Maybe it would be better to grit my teeth and bear the pain than to go through this, but sometimes, I just can't do it if I've been up on my legs a lot.

I would like to talk to him about this, but he is too tired and we would end up being angry at each other. How should I handle this? For a while, he did buy some easy fixed meals, but then he hasn't had much work and hasn't bought a supply of what I see as "real" groceries.....it's just junk and snacks. So, what would you want your wife to do if you were in his shoes and knowing my situation? Oh, BTW, last week when I did cook the real meals.......I bought the "real" food to cook. I suppose if that was what I wanted to do....that would just be dandy with him, but you see, I've tried for all the years we've been M to agree for me to buy the groceries and him pay for something else b/c I can't do both.....but no deal. If I get groceries anyway, then I don't have enough to pay the bills I'm responsible for every month. Does that make sense?

Sorry, I'm just rambling b/c I'm upset about the whole thing. It is all the time and I am so sick of it. He comes in and "dies" on the couch every night or sits there with his eyes glued to the TV and we have nothing to talk about and so I feel like I am wilting away. But, if I come to the computer, then he acts like a little boy sulking. So, I can't win. Oh, and if I leave the computer to go in there with him......most of the time, he'll get up and go to the computer. Lots of fun, huh?