SOrry if my post was confusing. I'm working huge amounts on the computer (like 12 hours straight) and it's getting to me.
I thought it seemed as if you were both agreeing that you moved on....she smiled at you like she wanted you to have moved on....you smiled back, etc. I see your point about getting comfortable before getting into more things, but you guys seem pretty comfortable.
I thought maybe she was moving away from OM and so the plan to spend time over there was a good one. Now, knowing what you know....I would back wayyyyyy off. But, I'm not sure you will be able to do that. You would have to act as if she is on her own...TOTALLY...no checking her car, no fixing her table, no seeing if she wants a movie, no bringing her dinner/snacks, no eating there, no chit chat, no talks on the phone (you let it go to voice mail), and NO ABC girls to fill the void. What do you think? Can you do it? If so, it will have an affect on her. When my H stopped catering to me, and I felt like I was losing him, and I felt how it was going to be......that made me stop and think (the other thing was that he went to counseling on his own and started making personal changes). Reality of my life without my husband kicked in. Time without my son is what realllllllly got me.
And, you know my story. 3 years. I try to think what you can do that could shorten that time. The above may help. Ultimately, she will have to want to come back. For me, my convictions helped me. Talking to a priest helped me. Seeing the changes in my H helped me. Not wanting to lose my whole life helped me. Seeing others "make it" helped me....many things. I'm rambling tonight....ugh, time to get off of the puter.
