WAW - Possible MLC I need help, WAWs advice

[thrillisgone]

AmyC - Oh yeah...I made the mistake of getting family involved because the initial behavior was so bad I really was worried that my ExW had gone crazy. After I got centered myself I quit communicating about all of this. My ExW was pissed off for sure. She was desperately trying to hide what she was doing. That is when the blaming and justification behavior went in to action. After I quit talking about it, things calmed down. She is still way way out there but I'm at least out of the storm.

LD - Listen to AmyC. I made every mistake in the book because I had no idea what I was seeing. I was in shock. By the time I got my bearings several months had passed and I had made many critical errors. Sadly enough, my ExW has a better chance of coming out of this now that our relationship has been destroyed. She may never come back looking for the 30 years she pissed away but if she does, she'll find me gone and I'm not coming back. Ironic isn't it?. There is a tendency for those left behind to seek understanding, support, empathy and sympathy. Just do this in the proper venue. This is a good place to do it. Family and friends are O.K. to a very limited extent. Watch what you say and who you say it to. This is critical. For both of you.

If a year ago you would have told me that I would loose my best friend and marriage I would have told you you're nuts. If you told me 7 months ago when this turned into a crisis, that I would feel this cold towards my ExW now, I would have told you "you're freakin' crazy".

This situation you're in can be so damaging, it is unthinkable. Be careful not to add to it. You're doing well. Carry on.