DQ -- the porn viewing and possible (never confirmed) EA was about 8 or 9 years ago and we dealt with it through counseling. I really feel like it has been handled well. As far as what type of lie he is convinced I'm not being truthful about -- an example is whether or not OM and I discussed each other's spouses. We didn't. I am sure we didn't because if we discussed each other's spouses then we would have to accept that what we were doing was wrong. Make sense? But my H is just positive that married people having As MUST be unhappy with their spouses and MUST talk about it. There are a couple other examples but what they all have in common is the fact that my H feels I'm lying because of how he thinks. Also, he guessed I was having an A right away and has been 99 percent right about a lot of things. So he feels that if he was right about that much, why wouldn't he be right about the other 1 percent. I hope that helps describe what is going on here. They say it takes 2-7 years to get "through" the effects of the A -- if that's the case, I'm still pretty early so I feel I need to wait until the two-year point and make any kind of separation decision then. To be fair to him.
