I guess it's over

[NikB]

Trixi - I tend to agree with your line of thinking on this. I think having this letter and understanding of how you want to be treated will be helpful. Particularly if your H IS still attracted and comes back around (which I suspect he will). At that time you'll be able to show him how you expect to be treated (or he doesn't get to spend time with you).

In the middle of the night, I am waking up with my heart beating out of my chest. I do NOT want a D. But if I am going to move on, I will need to get one.

I'm not so sure about this... I don't think a piece of paper and a legal agreement is going to help stop the emotions. Giving him up, letting him go, and moving on emotionally can all happen with or without the D.

Dating someone else or certainly marrying someone else, yes, you need the D... but I think you can work on those other things first. Focus on mentally and emotionally moving on. The paperwork can come later if/when you're ready.