I wanted my H to be truthful - even if it hurt. My BS meter was on high alert after being told about the A and any discrepancies in anything he said would get picked on and mulled over. The only way he could be get round that was to be truthful. If he tried to save my feelings....and in doing so was less than truthful....if he forgot and changed his story the next time I would have known......and even if he had done it so as to try to lessen the hurt it would have reduced my belief in him again.
It meant that at times I had to accept that the truth was sometimes him saying he couldn't remember; because he couldn't. The details would be etched on my brain because they hurt so badly and I would go over and over them in my head....whilst for my H they had lost their importance - in fact he wanted to forget because remembering just made him feel bad.
LL - I understand your H is hurting....for goodness sakes, I have lived it...it caused me to try and end my life.....but your H's behaviour is going to far.
Personally I think you need to question whether or not this R can be saved....and at what price and in what time scale. Don't lose yourself in the process. Be sorry for what you have done to another human being....but don't be reckless and let him abuse you. Don't let him beat you into emotional submission and make you forget who you are....otherwise later on you will hold it against him and look outside the M again.
I know he is probably just testing, but it really is going too far. Be honest, be truthful, be clear and act in good conscience now and in the future. You can't change what you DID but you are in charge of your future.
Being betrayed does not make your H right about everything or entitled to treat you like this. Look at the majority of the LBS on here; they wouldn't act like your H is doing.
Saffie me 46 H 46 M in 1986 D20,D18,S16,D13 H's A 01/05 to 07/06 H recommitted to M 07/06 renewed vows 09/06 Going from strength to strength
