Yes, guys, it makes total sense. But it makes me want to cry.
B/C I know what will happen if I become the quarterback. If I say, "In or out: do or do not, there is no try" (I actually gave him that Yoda line the other night and he laughed), I know what will happen.
H will say he doesn't think it is that simple. And I will have to tell him I am done. And that sucks.
H will say I am pushing him for too much too fast and can't I be patient b/c he is "trying", he is "working on it"....that he "hopes" he/we can be that way at some undefined point in the future....
He will turn it into my fault even as he says, "No, it isn't your fault, you have the right to ask for those things, I am just not ready/able to be there yet". But it will be b/c I pushed and cannot wait that we will be separated again.
And if we break my S's heart again, tell him we are separated again, I am afraid I will hate my H.
Of course, that does not mean I shouldn't push for what I want.
RE. Counseling--
H did not necessarily seem happier, but he was more active. The IC is the one who told him to break it off with OW entirely, end all contact of any kind. Then he showed me messages from her on his phone asking why he wouldn't talk to her, telling him she was lonely, etc. to prove he did break it off totally.
However the IC also told him he needed to rebuild an emotional connection with me before we were physical with each other again...so he resisted having sex at that point. Although we have had it a few times since.
AND FINALLY....
How would I put this into action? Just call H tonight in Calgary and say, "Time to put up or shut up" (ok in different, nicer, but equally clear terms)? Do I wait for some opportune moment? Do I wait for him to get back from Canada? I am just a little off today, I have a killer headache and I can't seem to think straight...
