Wife have moved out with my son..........now what

[nw626]

Hi everyone
I am a newbie here.
Here is my story. Sorry it is pretty long……!!!
We've been married for 4 years.
I met my wife at work. We were friends. We started dating roughly 2 years in working together. We bought a house together about 6 months in our relationship. Then we get married several months after. It is my first and my wife second marriage.

I thought I was the luckiest guy of the world. We want to build a family but she can't have any baby. So we decide to adopt one. We adopted our son from China when he was 10 months old, now he is 2½. He is the best thing ever happen to us. We love him dearly.

I don't even know when our marriage starts having trouble. She had complained to me before several times about I was controlling, treating her like a kid, don't trust her judgment, second guessing her decision, finishing up everything behind her. I guess she is right.

In my mind, I thought I was taking care of things. I want to do everything for her so she can just relax and chill out. I did complain to her before about spending too much money.

Finally back in June, she told me that she is not in love with me anymore. She had felt this way for a while because I ignored her feelings. She said her resentment to me slowly built up and numb her feeling toward me. She wants to move back to her hometown to be with her family. She has no friends here, not a single one......

In August, she started going to a support group site. I didn't think too much of it. She started become really secrecy. Every time I walked by the computer, she would minimize everything and clear out all the history.

I started to have suspicious. Sure enough I found out through her e-mails that she met another married man through the support site. All those e-mails were really graphic, like INTERNET sex. And they were planning to use the web cam soon. So I confronted her for the first time. She said sorry that she had hurt me. I thought she would stop after that, but no....

Next week her new laptop came in and she started sleeping in the other room. She said she needed space. She stayed up late so she could chat with him on line and of course doing things through the web cam. I confronted her again and she denied it. Keeps saying they were just friends. I believed she had fall in love with OM.

She left to her hometown (6 HRs drive away) with our son on Monday 09-08-2008 after another marriage talk. I guess I put too much pressure on her.

I called her the following Saturday just to let her know I will move out and she will have the space she asked for. Next thing I know, I brought up her affair again and asked her to stop and wake up from her fantasy world. I also told her she is breaking up 2 families. As you all can imagine, the phone call didn't end well.

I found out the next day (Sunday) from her mom that she has decided to stay in her hometown for good. I guess she couldn’t stand my constant nagging about her affair / marriage talk.
Since I had to go out town for business for 2 weeks, she requested me to drive our dogs and cat to her mom. By doing that, I got a chance to see my son but it was so tough because I didn’t know when the next chance will be. I also packed some of their belongings to them. Trust me, it wasn’t easy. I felt like I was sending my wife and son away.

On Friday (09-26-2008), the other man’s wife called me. Somehow she found my number. We confirmed out identity to make sure we are talking to the right person. Next thing you know, we talked for 4 hours. I told her everything that I knew about the affair, including they were planning to meet up. Anyway she called my wife the same night and gave her an ear-full. She also sent her several nasty e-mails. I think she has every right to do so.

On Monday (09-29-2008), my wife posted this on her blog. She didn’t send e-mails to me on this. I guess she knows I will check her site out.
I have done something very wrong and now I am paying the price in so many ways. I wanted a divorce and I still do because I think we are incompatible. I am very sorry that you got hurt. I know what you are feeling right now. You were right; I did end up getting hurt. But I just fell for all the things I was told...and I actually believed it. Add this to the already existing stress level and it continues to go up. We will both move on with our life. It will just take time for both of us. We did not see things the same way and I kept trying to tell you. Let's just maintain a civil relationship for our child. Thanks and take care.

As of now, I think the affair is over. She also states on her site “XXXX is moving on” and changes her status to “Divorced” which we haven’t. I know she is not wearing her wedding ring anymore. I guess she is out there looking for “Mr Right” in the weekend.

I haven’t talk to her for almost a month now. We have e-mails exchange here and there regarding our son. We also have separated our finance. She has her own account now. Her current job allows her to work remote, so she will just work out from her dad’s place. Her dad can’t find any work and on the blink of going under. She told me she will take over both her mom (not working also) and dad houses notes and bills. I don’t even know how she is going to do this.

For the past several days, she sounds so much happier from her blogs. Also my son is having a blast down there because her big family (more than 60 people). There are lots of kids to play with and plenty to do around the beaches. Unlike here, he is the only kid here in my family of 7 totals.

Is there still hope since my wife is so much happier now away from me?

Now I am using the last resort techniques and (GAL) as best as I can.

I don’t even know what to do anymore.

I appreciate your time of reading this.....

Thanks, NW626