AmyC, yes it was just the way i rtook things when asking about signs from her. Look forward to hearing from you on this. karlah thanks for jumping in, have the book and I am reading it. Not looking for a response on her brakes. Just told her I'd do thm and that's that. I don't expect any high fives or kisses. Just a tanks and that's that. I am not obsessing , really, about what happened, I know all too painfully how wegot here. the book is good, I am writing down my goals, signposts and baby steps that I need to strategize on. Interesting things have happened with her over the past 4-5 days that seem to be mentioned in the book.
I know talking to my kids and my MIL about this is bad. I try to stop, but when I see her, boom, there it is...
I want to delve more into the book before I try analyzing anything else. Yes I know it has been only two months but it might as well have been 2000. I have a friend, her and her husband went thru it and they are mentoring me about the things that worked. Focus, focus, focus..She told me that I have to learn to be happy, not just an act, but truly be happy. Once I am the confidence will be there. I have achieved a huge amount of success. When I don't see her or hear about her in detail from the MIL, I am fine, seriously, fine. But it all changes when i see her. There are positive signs so I am marching a lot easier down my path. I must say the book is awesome, wespecially if it works out. It is in lne with th mentoring I am receiving. People on this site or great suppor as well. i am the one now mentoring the family about the situation, she is not the same person you knew 10 weeks ago, she is someone else right now. she needs to find out who she wants to be, where she wants to be and with who she wants to be with. None of you can help her, guide her or even suggest to her what she needs to do. It is all about her. I have told them to stop calling her everyday because they normally don't. I said call her a couple times a week, but put the oweness of her contact on her as well. This is what I do. I seriously believe it is working and I have only really begun. I am trying to release her to her own means. I watch because I care, I don't intercede because she needs to see things as they are. i believe she is headed for a meltdown, and I have been advised to let her. I am struggling with the whole single parent, running the house, maintaining my life kind of thing. But I am 180'ng my way thru this with a good attitude. I worry less about what I canot control, not just her, but everything. I have a lot of irons in the fire and things are moving , generally, pretty well I must say. I had said in an earlier post, I believe my strength comes from my pain. Like a boxer being hit over and over again, but looking to last to the final bell. When I think I can't do it anymore, something generally happens to boost me up. Last weekend it was my daughter being so proud and happy having me home to meet her friends and their parents before going to homecoming. She is genuinely happy with her dad, loves who I have become, they all are, so my changes are at least real.
