You have a good handle of the situation and have much the same thoughts I came to after filing for my divorce. 50/50 is what is best for the kids. We also have joint legal custody so that both of us can make major decisions.
Sounds like Colorado is similar to Oregon. As for the spousal support, I am trying to do a lump sum so the final divorce papers dont have any spousal support. The reason being is that here in Oregon, if spousal support is written in, it could be raised in the future if her situation changes. Also, if she got a disability, it could be extended for life. I just want to get it done and only make child support payments. Plus, doing a lump sum payout is something that I could refinance my house for.
You are very correct to be wary of any sort of half hearted attempt by your W to want to reconcile. Mine also was on the fence for a while, an I did not fully address what would convince me of conditions for stopping the divorce.
I think you are going to be just fine and recover from this ordeal in your life pretty darn quick.
