HI LD--I'm sorry you are struggling so. Make fast tracks to Borders and get Divorce Remedy or check it out from your library until it arrives. As a fellow "analyzer" I will say that we drive ourselves nuts by asking "why?" continuously. By reading DR you will begin to see that understanding WHY things happened will not change the situation and in some cases make things worse.
On another note (based on painful personal lessons I've experienced) it isn't wise to be discussing your wife and her depression, etc.. with relatives and friends. I know it is hard not to, but that just entrenches us in the patterns of behavior that got us where we are. I'm not saying that your wife isn't struggling, but focusing on her behavior will not help you act differently and the differences in your actions will be key to moving on with your life. Hard, I know.....
I know these are not easy things to do, but you will crash and burn if you keep obsessing about why. Your wife probably can't tell you why either right now.
Hang in there and stay strong. Start reading DB!!!!
