I guess it's over

[Trixi]

There now. I replied to you again. Hope you're happy. We'll see how much damage this has done to my situation in a few days, I suppose

Gosh, I sure hope it doesn't do damage to your sitch!!! Glad to hear you have had some positive movement. If you feel compelled to share, I'd be interested.

I also think that it will be easier for you, to stick to the "dont talk to him until he agrees to the ground rules" method, than for you to play hard to get.

I dunnnnoooooo.....I think that giving him a laundry list of requirements when he is obviously not interested will set things back even further. (Is that possible?)

As a side comment, You wrote earlier, something like you worry that you'd "never be able to find someone to match him".
ARE YOU KIDDING??? He's a SCHMUCK. He may be a charming schmuck, but he's still a schmuck.

There are nice guys out there, and they would jump at the chance to find a kind, available woman like yourself, with NO CHILDREN. 90% of available women at your age, have children to deal with. You dont, so you are automatically ahead of the pack there
Most men will run away from a woman with children. Or at least, run away from LIVING WITH/MARRYING such a woman. Have sex with em? fine... but not a true relationship, in their book.

Thank you for that! I really appeciate the alternate view. I never even considered that.

Unless you can figure out why it didnt work before, and figure out how you have the power to "make it different, this time"... sounds like you should do something different now?

What works- me being independent.
What doesn't work- pressure; neediness; expecting him to act like a H
What I will do- move on.
He has hurt me long enough. I don't trust him with my heart. I think it's too late anyway. He is tired of going thru this, too. We have gone thru this 'push me/pull me' game for too long, I'm wiped out.
I think I *will* write a letter of what I want/expect and *if* he starts to show an interest again, I will present it to him or at the very least review it to make sure he is making the grade.

I think back to OT's watercooler post and imagine the unwanted friend marching up and saying "If you want to be my friend, THIS is what you will do!" If I am of the frame of mind that I don't to be responsible to this person, having them DEMAND I act a certain way is going to make me *positive* I don't want to deal with them.

My frame of mind feels different this time-- which is why I need get the requirements down on paper now.
And those requirements are going to apply to any guy that wants to spend time with me.