I have a great time with my H, its the fears I have about our future that I am stumbling mostly over right now.
We go through good weeks and bad weeks, and its hard to not feel up and down myself.
I do think things will work out for us for the best in the long run. I am being patient and dealing with the things I know I can not change about my H.
In the meantime, I feel myself starting to put my guard down when I am around him and be just more of myself. For a while , It was like every thing I did was to try and impress him or make him happy. Now I am turning my focus back onto myself slowly and it is a bit easier.
Well we have had a good couple of nights. Monday night is pretty much our one night we spend apart every week due to his band gigs. Man are there some real fluzzies that go watch them play and it drives me nuts. I went and watched them and now I am home. So I am home with the dog alone tonight. I hate it. I wish we had our M'd lifestyle back. But I need to have patience and alot of hope. TIPPER
