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ACJ Offline
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No advice Holly I'm afraid. I'm virtually right where you are only in what seems to be a whole more messy sitch. I do have ((((((((hugs)))))))) though.

Take care


Me 43
XH 45
M 2.7.88
Divorce 7.10.09
Kids D20,S17 & D15
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Holly, Do the opposite of what he would expect. If he would expect you to call, don't. If he doesn't expect you to call, do.


M: 16 years
Bomb 4/07
OW 20s long gone
Divorced 11/09
I remarried New Guy
Cooperative r w/X regarding D

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Holly06 Offline OP
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That is very good advice. I am sending a card. Something humorous, with a knowing about him kinda thing... signed it, you could have written this card,,,,, Happiness always! Holly
That will show him what I am made of. Give me financial pressure and I am still gracious. I like that.
Today I am better. I really suffer on the weekends. I struggle with getting a life and standing.
I think that once TJ gets his divorce, he will he happy and then crash. He has not been sucessful contacting me in any way, and I know that he doesn't like that. I was taking care of me, by not responding.
I just wonder if I have taken care of me too long, and let the tethers of our relationship fray till they are unmendable. Very worried about that.


Bomb 1/06
D dismissed 11/07, attempt reconciliation. Premature.
Divorce final October 31, 2008.
OW looks like bad history. Over.
Still hopeful. Baby steps.
In R with my X.
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Holly, I would consider not breaking the silence as well.


M: 16 years
Bomb 4/07
OW 20s long gone
Divorced 11/09
I remarried New Guy
Cooperative r w/X regarding D

Joined: Nov 2006
Posts: 4,071
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Posts: 4,071
Holly, I would consider not breaking the silence as well.


M: 16 years
Bomb 4/07
OW 20s long gone
Divorced 11/09
I remarried New Guy
Cooperative r w/X regarding D

Joined: May 2006
Posts: 3,298
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Holly06 Offline OP
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But,,,,, I live 4 hours away, and the no contact means that I am punishing him for bad behavior,,,,, he is being a real stinker about spousal support. All arranged, no court endorsement yet, but he is with holding...... I should be no contact,because I am suppose to be mad.
But the card, would be tough to handle, that would be nice when he is being ugly,,,,
see what I mean?
contact would be a 180 for me.


Bomb 1/06
D dismissed 11/07, attempt reconciliation. Premature.
Divorce final October 31, 2008.
OW looks like bad history. Over.
Still hopeful. Baby steps.
In R with my X.
Joined: Nov 2006
Posts: 4,071
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Posts: 4,071
Holly, That sounds good. I am starting to realize that we all know intuitively what is best for our situations.


M: 16 years
Bomb 4/07
OW 20s long gone
Divorced 11/09
I remarried New Guy
Cooperative r w/X regarding D

Joined: Oct 2005
Posts: 1,309
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Holly,

No advice. Just thinking of you. (((((Holly))))

Spitty


Always do right. This will gratify some people, and astonish the rest.
Mark Twain
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