I guess it's over

[NikB]

Oh!! Gotcha Trixi... sorry when you said you didn't know how to "run with the ball" I thought that generally "moving on" is what you meant. Sounds like you're doing great with that!!

I read Dom's letter idea and also Jody's advice and wow.. I could really go either way. I see Dom's point that otherwise things may just slowly fade as he sees "this avenue is no longer open." But it also just seems like the timing is really wrong. He's not asking to be around you - he's asking for the opposite in fact.

I think if it were me... I might WRITE the letter now, to get very clear on what it is that you want/need if he does in fact decide he wants to be in your life (and vice versa) again. But maybe give it a little bit of time and see what happens in terms of the contact. I tend to agree with Jody that he'll probably contact you. When he does, be prepared to be strong, independent, and demand respect through ACTION. Know in your mind what the "rules" are, and how you plan to enforce them. i.e. in the past I mentioned his wishy-washy "maybe" half-dates... nope.

You could also tell him that you're going dark and why (briefly!) but leave out the "you must do XYZ if you want to spend time with me" part.

I know.. big help.. I DO think I'd write the letter, just not sure about GIVING it to him, at least at this particular point in time.