It's good to hear from you again. I took W away this weekend for a road trip into the Australian countryside. We drove around and hung out like we've always done, and chatted about our 9 years together and W said some good things and some bad things, but that things had been "mostly good" between us. We had a great time but then yesterday morning guess who calls - OM, for the first time in 2 months.
I couldn't believe he had the nerve to do this as we were driving around so I called out to introduce myself.
W was surprised, and honest with me about the nature of the communication. OM emailed her saying that he's coming to Australia in November to do a tour and wanted to meet up because W and OM didn't have a "proper goodbye". W later emailed back saying that would be "fine" and then I asked her how appropriate she thought that would be. After some coughing, spluttering and other rubbish she agreed that it really wouldn't be appropriate. She said she feels like she "owes him" because he was "so good to her" and I said "how do you think that looks from where I am? It says to me that you couldn't give a damn about my feelings as long as you get to do what you want to do". She agreed that if any woman I had been romantically involved with wanted to do the same thing then it "wouldn't do at all". She doesn't like talking about this stuff and neither do I, but "no contact" means exactly that. I want this whole thing to be a sleeping dog and to let it lie.
W has agreed to email OM again stating that it won't be appropriate and that she has no intention of getting divorced. I will believe this when I see it and not before - W has agreed to show it me. She came into my bed last night and slept with me because she "felt bad" for me.
W can't bring herself to say she loves me at the moment. I honestly have no idea why she is even sticking around. She says things like "being without you is a really strange concept GH31, we are so close" and "losing you would be like losing a part of myself" and I feel the same, but this just won't do. Just as I thought we were beginning to make progress and view this episode as a "fog" or "haze" in the past tense, this happens. It has to end and it has to be W's decision - and I am not holding my breath.
best to you all,
GH31
Me: 46 W: 46 T: 23 M: 20 DS12 DD11 DS5
W left: 01/28/08 Discovered OM: 02/26/08 W back for 9 days: 04/08 W returned 05/21/08 EA/PA - 01/08-07/09 W's MLC 2008-2014 (realised this much later)
