In a strange mood today. Does anyone ever think about what it would take for H to come home and become completely overwhelmed??? I woke up this morning and for whatever reason started thinking about the fact that H has furnished an entirely new home and I don't see him giving up "his security" to come home again. It all just seems so insurmountable sometimes. I know it sounds crazy, but what would he do with everything he bought? As every day goes by it just seems like our future apart is more set in stone. ARRGH! I drive myself crazy!!!!!
Absolutely I have gone thru that. And it DOES seem to get worse as the days go by and things seem more entrenched. But, as my H had said when he was feeling more positive about us- "It's just "stuff". We can deal with it."
Look at it this way-- if you end up getting involved with ANYone- they will have a life, furniture etc that was there before you came along. Happens all the time in this great country that people combine households. Yes, it is a PITA, but not insurmountable. I think the REAL issue at hand is that right at this moment, you don't feel the innocent, ooey gooey feelings that drive people to take the leap of faith and live together. And without that driving force, it seems like a HE11 of a lot of work to go thru.
If your H turns around and starts to court you and rebuild trust, you will be able to deal with the logistics of recombining your lives. Maybe you will end up wanting to sell both homes and starting from scratch in a new place. There are endless ways to deal with it. First things first- let's keep negative emotions down and start building a true friendship.
Me-43 H-46 M 12 yrs 7/09 T 15 2 grown kids bomb 7/05/07 H moved out 8/04/07 11/22/09 told him I quit;let's get ball rolling Mid Dec- he isn't sure he wants D End 2/2010-Starting to consider piecing
