Am I crazy or what? Is it me giving up....puting myself out there? I felt big time backsliding yesterday and with the text. I plan on trying to have as little contact with her as possible. I do have to get with her on the gifts that we discussed for D6 and the stuff for her party.
Can I really expect that she would let OM set up a moonbounce at the party? She HAS to realize that I would go batsh*t if I saw him there.
Crazy? I think we are maybe all a tiny bit crazy to not just walk away from our spouses. But I am too! And I think it's crazy in a good way: we're maybe too loyal or something.
Yeah, I think you and I both backslid yesterday, but overall I think you and I are still going in a better, forward direction overall. I think everyone backslides occasionally (except Puppy of course ) and we should just try to do better. I will never wash H's laundry again and am trying to cement that in my brain! And you could probably do stuff like that, too. I think we should have as little contact as possible except about the kids like you mention. Don't let them cake eat and think they'll always have our friendship or whatever plus the OP as well.
Logical people wouldn't consider something like having OM do something like that, but you know I don't think we're dealing with logical people, so you might have to have a conv. about that with her when you're feeling strong and calm b/c I think she might think like that or at least she sounded like she was!!! Karen
I think everyone backslides occasionally (except Puppy of course )
Karen, I HATE it when you say stuff like that! I screw up PLENTY, trust me, not only when I was in the middle of my sitch, but even this past weekend with the fetching Mrs. Puppy. I can be as tone-deaf to Venutian as the worst Cro-Magnon man out there sometimes!
I think everyone backslides occasionally (except Puppy of course )
Karen, I HATE it when you say stuff like that! I screw up PLENTY, trust me, not only when I was in the middle of my sitch, but even this past weekend with the fetching Mrs. Puppy.
Well, I was kind of joking about that, I joke about 95% of the time, but I won't do that anymore--didn't mean to upset you. OK maybe you screw up too, but I do think you would never wash your W's dirty, stinky socks if she was off living with an OM though!!! Karen
I think everyone backslides occasionally (except Puppy of course )
Karen, I HATE it when you say stuff like that! I screw up PLENTY, trust me, not only when I was in the middle of my sitch, but even this past weekend with the fetching Mrs. Puppy.
Well, I was kind of joking about that, I joke about 95% of the time, but I won't do that anymore--didn't mean to upset you. OK maybe you screw up too, but I do think you would never wash your W's dirty, stinky socks if she was off living with an OM though!!! Karen
No, but I paid for the car she was making out with him in!!!
This might not necessarily have been a bad thing. Think positive. You have inadvently stuck your finger up in the air to see which way the wind is blowing. Well your going to find out now!!! Nothing you said is anything she doesn't already know about how you feel. Should make for a interesting conversation.
karen, how could Puppy get mad at you. The only one that could get mad at you is your H, and thats because he is a jackass.
Everyone knows how much you and I love to joke with everyone.
No one is perfect. We know it. I know it. The conversation I had last night with the wife, the text. Funny thing is, even though I missed a lot of opportunities, we talked. We got comfortable with each other for a few moments. Her "you need to move on" comment threw me off, but the conversation was good to have. I think that sometimes its ok to talk to the wife about stuff. Like I was giving her grace. I was not mushy or weak in the conversation. At least I didn't think so. I was maybe a little too reflective to her. Not sure.
The text, I think that there are certain things that she needs to know. I DON'T want things to be unsaid. I'm not giving her "ILY's". I don't want to be getting papers and then thinking that there were things that I should have told her.
Not sure if that makes sense?
I didn't get a response, but I figured that. It was ok by me. I didn't think it was going to flip a switch or anything, so I was cool. On the way to pick up the girls, the wife calls me. I was jamming out, so I was in a good mood. I answered very upbeat. She was calling from her work phone.
"Hello!" I answered. "Hey, you."
Now the "Hey you" had been our little term of endearment that I started years ago. Then she started saying to others. Her best friend, I'm pretty sure OM. When she says it to me, I always take that as a good sign.
She starts to tell me about S14 needing to go to his grandparents house to use their computer for something. She found out from D11 that D6 wanted to stay at the apartment again. The wife tells me that she has a meeting at another branch at 6:30. S14's dad might pick him up, and if I get their too early, D6 won't be able to stay, so it looks like she is going to have to go home with me. I tell her that I'll just take S14 myself. She'll call him when she gets out and see if he is ready. We start to talk about D6 a little. She's been pretty grouchy lately. She is gaining weight and snoring more. Might be sleep deprived a little. D11 had the same problem until we had her tonsils and adenoids removed. Sleeps like a baby now. I ask her how her day was. She starts to tell me. Then she asks, "Hey, what does BTW mean?" "You don't know what it means? Your not the queen texter now?" "No, I don't get into that stuff." "BTW means 'by the way'." "Oh, I thought it meant 'but then wait'.....or something." "But then wait?" "I don't know that stuff. I only know 'lol'...and 'romf' or 'rolmao' or whatever." "rolf lmao. Rolling on floor, laughing my ass off. Yeah, I know THAT one. How about OMG?" "ONG?" "OMG." "What's that?" "OMG! Oh my God!" I tell her in my best valley voice. I start to tell her how my 58 year old widowed boss knows WAY more abbreviations than I do. I learn some from her. She found out that she LOVES texting. She is funny.
I hear her other work line ringing. She contemplates answering it.
"Nah. We're closed anyway." Then I can hear someone talking to her in her office. Muffled talk. Now she gives ME the high pitched sweet voice.
"Okay. Uh, do you mind if I call you back?"
Hey, I've heard THAT voice before.
I say okay and we hang up. Pick up the kids, take S14 to his grandparents and head home. Make some dinner and they are watching something on Disney channel. The wife calls from the apartment at about 10 till eight. Again, I answer pretty upbeat. She asks how the girls are. I tell her their fine. Watching a movie. She says that D6 forgot the video they rented. She can watch it tomorrow.
Again, we start to chit chat. She says that S14 wasn't ready, so his dad is going to have to take him back. I tell her that D6 and I had a talk about her wanting to come home with me and wanting to stay at the apartment just to play with friends. The wife talks about how hard it is to wake her in the morning. I agree. She's terrible. We talk about her only wanting sweets and junk food. I tell her that we are eating a light dinner. She mentions that they got into the Oreos today. "I can't believe the whole bag is almost gone. I just bought them this morning."
I'm thinking, "This MORNING?"
"You went and bought Oreos this morning?" "I didn't end up going to the store last night. I kept debating and then I said, 'NAHH'. I got up at 5:30 and went to the store." "Up at 5:30 on purpose or by accident?" "I couldn't sleep. I figured I'll beat traffic. We at least needed milk." "Funny. I woke up at 2 and didn't fall asleep until about 4. I am tired."
At this point I tell her to hold on. I stopped the conversation and took the phone to D6. I let them talk. They end up hanging up and I ask D11 if she got to talk to her.
"No! Juli just hung up!"
Seems odd. I'm just going to go with it. Who knows. I may not talk to her for the rest of the week. I'll just take it for what it was. Conversation. I just knew for SURE that she was going to try to avoid talking to me for a while after my text to her.
I am surprised.
Me 47, WW 38 SS18, D15, D10
Good Bye Girl. No longer SAYING she's moving out. GBG moved out 8-1-08
"I have now decided to enjoy life instead of figure it out."
This might not necessarily have been a bad thing. Think positive. You have inadvently stuck your finger up in the air to see which way the wind is blowing. Well your going to find out now!!! Nothing you said is anything she doesn't already know about how you feel. Should make for a interesting conversation.
I think you were right. My first thought is that she might have thought that I was sticking my MIDDLE finger in the air. Her reaction was more positive than I thought it was going to be.
I think that I was overthinking how we spoke. Ultimately, as long as she knows how I feel. I think she tends to believe that I am unable to move on. She has no idea. Before I left with the girls on Sunday the first time, she had admitted that she was grouchy and tired. Later, the conversation was leaning towards the wrong direction, but I made sure to steer it.
Like I said, I have no expectations. At least she wasn't bitchy about my text. I didn't intend for the text to be pursuing in any way. Just giving her some honesty and I think she took it as such.
Me 47, WW 38 SS18, D15, D10
Good Bye Girl. No longer SAYING she's moving out. GBG moved out 8-1-08
"I have now decided to enjoy life instead of figure it out."
) and we should just try to do better. I will never wash H's laundry again and am trying to cement that in my brain! And you could probably do stuff like that, too. I think we should have as little contact as possible except about the kids like you mention. Don't let them cake eat and think they'll always have our friendship or whatever plus the OP as well.
I screw up PLENTY, trust me, not only when I was in the middle of my sitch, but even this past weekend with the fetching Mrs. Puppy. I can be as tone-deaf to Venutian as the worst Cro-Magnon man out there sometimes!