Thanks again for everyone's replies. I did stand up to him this weekend and say that I cannot be his XXX receptacle. When I explained that I felt like a whore the other night when I had sex with him knowing that was all I was, he said that the sex we've been having for the past eight months hasn't been good for him either. So that's a surprise -- all along I thought it was good that we were "bonding" with sex. But, in the end, I did stand up to him and say what I can't accept. That's the good news. The bad news is that I handled it all wrong. We ended up getting into a huge fight with me saying things off the top of my head (like I used to) and him saying, "See you haven't changed!" To which he is correct. When faced with difficulties, I tend to get defensive and blurt out whatever is on my mind, whether it's true or not. Example: We've been going back and forth trying to figure out why I had the affair. It seems like he can't accept the reasons I THINK I had the affair. So last night, I got defensive and blamed him for the affair -- I know, the worst thing I could possibly do. I apologized last night and this morning and tried to explain that I said things out of anger and didn't really feel the way I said I felt last night. But he can't forget what I said.
