Mishka- Wrestle that bad boy to the ground. There's an idea! CEO is the kind of guy who likes to do the asking. He's always telling me about girls who can't leave him alone and I think he comes after me because I'm a girl who CAN leave him alone. He's told me that he always tells his sisters not to call and that they're taking that tension and excitement of doing the asking away from a guy if they call. I'm not going to do that to him- in fact, asking out an employee must be the ultimate in tense asks . Under normal circumstances (ie where the prey isn't my boss), I'd be quite happy to ask- I'm not afraid to get no's!
As to what I'm holding onto, I think the answer is love, and hope. I'd also say that I'm not hanging on in the sense of waiting. I'm moving my life on, and keeping open to reconciliation bearing in mind that the chances are slim, slim, slim. What else can you do? Close the door entirely? There are other reasons that I can't do that which I haven't posted on the board. For now and probably until the end of the year I have to maintain some kind of R with H. That's just the way it is.
I feel OK this evening. Still a bit subdued, but I'm going to read the Babe in Total Control book tonight and see if that helps.
So you have other reasons for not closing the door. Ok, understood. Private things that you don't feel you can share. We all have those don't we? I know I've got some big ones that I don't share even with my very closest friends. If you need to lean, know we are willing to listen and be as impartial as possible while still loving you very much!
Asking an employee out would be very difficult, I'm sure. Can't blame the guy. Also, he knows you are M and I'm sure he has the utmost respect for that. He does know about the S right?
T19 M15 S19 XH47 M43 bomb12/4/07 PA5/07 S12/26/07 D final 11/17/08 Back together with no defined R 05/2010 confused....to say the least!!!
((((mishka)))) Thank you for the offer of a listening ear. It's stuff related to my family which I prefer not to put on the boards, but thank you... I really appreciate you being there. Such a good friend.
Yes, CEO does know about the S and the M. He said once that I should stop speaking to H and see if he chased me, but that was ages ago- not sure what he thinks now as we never discuss H/the M. He also once said (when he was drunk, and I quote) "You need someone who will treasure you for who you are, let you be everything that you are and love you for it" And then he got embarrassed, said he didn't know why he was telling me that, ran to the bar and downed a pint of beer.
He said that to me in February. I'm not sure if he still thinks that, but I just thought it was such a lovely thing to say. That's what we should all have(and no wonder he's a ladies man!).
"You need someone who will treasure you for who you are, let you be everything that you are and love you for it" ... Lisa, please marry this guy! Do it for me. You remind me of my sister, she is dating this bum who keeps storming out. Meanwhile, she is friends with a fantastic guy, who has a phd and wants children and thinks shes amazing... its like she cant see what the universe has put right under her nose.
I think your H has behaved very badly. As all of our WAS's have. But he has behaved badly AND continues to date the woman he has been dating since last July (?). So I wonder, especially as Jody is also my DB coach.. what if you actually spoke to him honestly? Like I sent my (carefully written, with no emotion) email. What if you stated that you are aware he's been in another R for a year now and that you love him but wish him well... I dont know what words you could use, but if you are going to have another session with Jody, could this be something you could ask her about?
I'm not suggesting an ultimatum, I'm suggesting that seeing as he has clearly gone on holiday with his gf, that maybe the time has come to close the chasm between you, created by dishonesty.
Just a thought. Sorry you are having a pants time. PLEASE dont go to the sperm bank! You are lovely and intelligent and drop dead gorgeous... its a waste. Anyway, CEO has great genes...
Ali xxxx
Me:40! H:37 Together: 12yrs IDLY & left 11/07 ADs 03/08 OW 8/08 Reconciled 05/09 now married! my thread
Well, I'm glad that you revealed that you have something personal keeping you "holding on." That is good to know so we can keep everything in perspective.
I hope that you take to heart how CEO acts around you and what he said to you. Being able to acknowledge what I deserve was one of the hardest things to do, but best.
I'm here for you!!
H & I, both 32, together since 18. *M 7/03, A since 9/06. Bomb 7/07, H ended it w/ OW 9/08 * Agreed to D 6/09...very hard *D 8/10 * At peace, have become great friends w/ X-H and his new GF
I really appreciate you being there. Such a good friend.
). He does have quite a way with words!