Welcome Home! I am planning a Ladies Brunch for Sunday . . . I wish you could come. You will be there in my heart and my prayers.
Progress:
1.) Made it 3 weeks with initiation from A. Feeling more relaxed knowing he will eventually call. Wow! 2.) Feeling better mentally, emotionally, spiritually. 3.) Having fun with friends and bonding more.
Past Experience with A:
1.) He always made plans and decision unilaterally. I'd follow. 2.) He always told me his plans. I'd follow. 3.) At times, he would do a 180 and expect me to lead. He'd be iritated with me because I'd be thrown off and I didn't assert myself to pick up his slack. 4.) At sometimes, if I initiated plans at the wrong time, he would act angry because he didn't want to lose control. 5.) Often, when he didn't have his way, he would show me in his behavior -- pout, be quiet. Guilt was probably involved. 6.) I became paralyzed . . . not knowing to wait for him or intiate plans. Often when I expected him to plan, it would leave me waiting, becoming iritated when he didn't make plans for us. (I wished I made plans for myself, at least) I set myself up for disappointment when there weren't plans because I didn't make plans for myself. He never told me when he needed me to lead. I never asked. 7.) Ocassionaly, when I acted independent, sure of myself and definite, he seemed to respond to it positively. 8.) He often voiced that he felt the weight of the world on his shoulders. I felt like I was a part of the burden. I felt that he didn't want to be responsible to complete all my social happiness. 9.) Because I got caught waiting for him to lead, I got lost in waiting. Instead of doing something different by building my own social life, I did nothing. 10.) Maybe he'd respect seeing me busy with my own life and ocassionally turn him down or not change my plans because he can't join me.
Goals:
1.) Watch for A to initiate more. 2.) A plan social events with me!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! 3.) Turn him down sometimes because I'm busy???????? 4.) Being ok even when A turns down my plans? (I'm not ready to ask him or plan anything with him in mind . . . even though I'd like to in the future.)[/color]
[color:#009900]Present Action:
1.) Going forward giving A more time to initiate. 2.) Be positive and busy with job, friends, family, and hobbies. 3.) Be appreciative, encouraging, and positive when he calls . . . plan to be busy when he asks me to do something.
L, I've been thinking more independent thoughts. I'm happy about it. Glad your back. Hope all is well.
