WAW - Possible MLC I need help, WAWs advice

[thrillisgone]

First of all if this is MLC and not just WAW, there will be lots of blame pushed your way. There will also be alot of justification on her part.

Let me say now that there is NO excuse for having an affair. Period. Do not blame yourself for this. Well adjusted adults don't commit emotional homicide. She has some problems that are hers and hers alone and she must come to grips with those problems.

I would detach. Doesn't mean you can't love her or feel compassion for her and work on yourself. However, if you contact her you may very well circumvent the real work you both need to do. She knows you love her. She knows you want this to work already.

You've made real changes. Now it is her turn and she must tackle those issues that bother her in lieu of blaming and justification tactics.

If you give too much I'd be afraid that you might be enabling her to continue on in the fog. You don't want her to use you. You want her back if she can feel the love and value of the relationship you've had with each other for 29 years AND she is willing to work with you to resolve personal issues between you.