H moving out!! Crisis I need help

[TxMomw/2girls]

gosh... I knew you would tell me not to give him the letters... but.. why does this kill it for them? Why is this a no no?? he doesn't have to read them I just want him to realize what he thinks he has with OW is what we had for many many years...

I don't cry or beg or show depression in front of him and haven't since he left... if anything I show anger and hate or frustration when I see him... or I'm just casually nice and calm.. if anything we interact how we always did and then I remember mid way through a conversation that he'll be going to her house when he leaves here b/c he is dragging his feet on gettng a place.

I want the truth, about what he feels or is thinking or her... I know it will hurt but it will set us free... how can he one minute be crying and seem miserable for the choices he made and then two days later seem that he is ok with his decision??? I know it is a drug, an addiction...

For his b-day I'm giving him a book and pictures framed from the girls... my D3 and I will make a big heart shaped choc.chip cookie and she'll decorate it. I got him a card I'll write stuff and ordered him a speciality cake for him to take to Houston (which means he'll have to take to her house Thursday evening as he isn't leaving until Friday am) I'm not buying him anything ... I was going to make a CD for him but that could be like the cards ...

At some point I will write the OW and send her pictures of us and our family and copy all the letters H and I have given over the years..I want her to know I'm still fighting for our marriage and she has her work cut out... I think that will throw her into a questioning him, jealeously etc... not sure when to do this .. I would do this now but I don't want it to piss H off and pull him further away from me!!

I think I have gotten a couple of calls from her on my office phone .. both hang up calls were when H was here...I'm keeping record but that is a good sign of her showing insecurities. ( I work from home)