I think my H is offend by me this weekend. I invited my parents for a visit this weekend to see my new house. I didn't tell H because I didn't want him coming over. The Ds told him about a the visit and he asked me when they were coming. I told him but gave him no invite. Last night he called me with an excuse to come over and bring me something I needed from his house. I told him it wasn't necessary as I wouldn't use it until my parents were gone. I haven't heard from him all day today although he has texted and called the Ds. I hope I am sending him a message that I have some control here.
R 23 years M 20 years Bomb June 2007 S Oct 2007 Ds 11 & 16 Ds and I moved out Aug. 2008
Sounds like you are enforcing some boundaries Red.. good for you! I don't understand why he would want to spend time with your parents when he doesn't want to be married to you... These WA are SOOOO confusing!
Liz, my stbxH is the same. Everytime I say no to something that is not "normal" in my eyes for a stb divorced couple he gets sad and shows it. I am glad I dont feel sorry for him anymore. They have to be trained to be/act divorced on top of everything else!!! Love K
So I think H was feeling lonely. He didn't see the Ds at all on Friday or Saturday. Sunday he saw D10 for about 30 minutes, no D16. Today he was going to watch D16 play soccer and called to ask if he could pick up D10 and take her. I said I didn't think she would want to go nor did she have clothes with her as he would get her from school. I know she wouldn't want to wear her uniform. That is about the closet I come to saying no. I know I need to just say no. I wonder what will happen when H actually has to go 4 days without seeing them and myself. He does when he travels but it seemed he didn't do well this weekend.
R 23 years M 20 years Bomb June 2007 S Oct 2007 Ds 11 & 16 Ds and I moved out Aug. 2008
Sounds to me like there have been no big changes, positive or negative, in your relationship with your H these past few months. Of course the house was a big change, but I mean he still appears to be "hanging out" fairly frequently, etc.
Glad you are enjoying your new classroom position!
Hi red, just checking on you... No is not a bad word. And you do need to set boundaries. If not for you, for your girls. They are old enough to notice and pick up behaviours from their mom. What would you advise THEM if -God forbid- they had to deal with something similar?
I keep looking over my shoulder for your 2x4 Woog. To be honest, I am still holding out hope. For all H drives me crazy I still love him and I keep the dream alive that one day he will wake up and get the help he needs. The practical side of me realizes that isn't going to happen. I have given him until January, then I plan to file.
R 23 years M 20 years Bomb June 2007 S Oct 2007 Ds 11 & 16 Ds and I moved out Aug. 2008
