That's a bit much, the pot calling the kettle black. I think that you have every right to be steamed.
I still stand by my he is hurting comments with a bigger caveat. Regardless of what he is feeling or why, he is acting boorish and is out of line. He may be frustrated and angry and hurt that things aren't working out in the fantasy manner that he expected. All of that may be true and it doesn't change for a minute that he is behaving badly. Far to many people seem to forget that most of the world doesn't absolve you of responsibility based on your state of intoxication or your emotional state or for any reason at all. Your words, your responsibility.
I'm sorry that your husband has disappeared. It doesn't matter that he is paying for the house. It's just as much your house as it is his house. If he wants to move back in, in the absence of any behavior for which you could get a restraining order, I doubt that you can prevent it. At the same time, he can't force you out and if he starts to behave in an intimidating or threatening manner in line with his verbals, you would be smart to get a restraining order and an injunction to keep him from moving back into the house.
I guess what I'm saying is to keep yourself safe and only move if you want to. The other thing to remember, in Colorado at least, your moving doesn't change your rights with respect to property at all. Abandonment is an outdated concept and since CA usually leads the way, you could move for your and the kids safety and peace without risking anything except what you pay to be gone.
