I agree with mishka about the snooping- you know you need to stop that! The other thing I'd say is not to assume that because H has said this stuff to the friend that he really means it. As an example, yesterday I was talking to a frind of mine who isn't pro-DB. I'm a little ashamed to say this, but when we were talking it just seemed easier to let her think that I was moving towards divorce and not speaking to H, rather than to explain my true feelings. Does that make sense? Maybe I lack courage, but I just took the easy path rather than having to explain myself to someone I thought wouldn't approve......
So, you know what you need to do. Focus on you, stop snooping, breathe and detach. I think your H remains confused. He doesn't know what to say to friend as a result, so says the easiest thing. Decide what you want to do. and then let's make a plan to get it.
L. xx
PS. Mishka- thank you for the compliment. You're not so bad at the advice yourself
