I didn't get much of a chance for replies to any of the posts on the last thread before it locked, but I did read everyone's.
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I agree a 100% with Bill...and would like to add that maybe you should refrain from the alcohol indulgences when she is indulging...it can cloud things...it can complicate things...my H (when he started making the move home) used alcohol a lot to drown his feelings...but instead it caused them to surface...he would say things like he "loved" me..."wanted" me...but then not remember in the morning...I think it helped him to not feel responsible for his actions...
Lin The drinking thing has been a bit of an issue for the 2 of us since the bomb. Before that, I had pretty much given it up, but my wife still drank, and sometimes that was an issue as she had a tendency to over indulge.
After the bomb, one of my 180's was to start taking her out, being more social and that led us back to the bar scene a little more than we had in the past. It has sort of snowballed into the 2 of us overdoing it at times, both while we are out and a home.
As for your comments about you and your H, I am not sure, and have not been since the bomb, how to take her when we have been drinking.
It is rare that R talk, or reminders about the sitch come up when she has been drinking...just the opposite, so as for which feelings tend to surface, it's hard to say. Most times our partying leads to some pretty fun, crazy and intimate times, but she has never slipped up and said ILY, I need you, or given me any indication that what she really wants is to work on the R because of she was drinking.
Lately I have noticed that she is more talkative and relaxed without the alcohol, whereas before...earlier, after the bomb, she had a tendency to just clam up and be very distant during the normal everyday time together.
Either way, the drinking has to be curtailed somewhat, and we both know it, and have talked about it. Lately we seem to have more nights leaning towards "normal every day" without alcohol, so I think we both are trying.
