Things are ok with me, I had a great day with my kids on Sunday. We made stuff and played and hung out. It was a great day.
The night before I went out to see some music with some friends. The band wasn't bad - but the best part was to just get out and hang with people.
The wife is starting to communicate to me much more. Sending me notes almost daily, most about the kids. Some of them are very cheerful, and some are gentle. She sent me a handwritten note with the kids test scores and wrote "We produced a slew of smart kids!" among other pleasantries. This is the first time she has communicated about "We" in ... I don't know how long. a year? More? And it is a far cry from a couple months ago when she was completely silent. Zero communication. So I am thankful for that. (Remember I am ordered no communication back.)
The truth is I am afraid. I would like to communicate back to her but I am afraid to violate the order. I've got a ton of restrictions put on me, my time with the kids restricted and so on, and I don't believe it is justified at all. And I don't want any more problems. So I am afraid.
But no-contact is not helping. I have to find a way to act with courage, to communicate to her in some way my openness towards her. In answer to my prayers, someone has come who wants to play the part of diplomat between us. We are trying to sell the family home because we cannot afford it with a split income. The real estate agent is a Christian woman who wants to help. She knows I have a no-contact order against me and wants to act as go-between to help resolve the issue of the house, and the other things. I am not a bible thumper but honestly, this woman was given to us by God. She doesn't have to do this, but she feels she must.
So there are a bunch of positives for us: More positive communication. The real estate agent. And also the sale of the home - I think that is a necessary dose of reality. We'll see what the future brings...
I am hopeful!
For now I have to focus on being compassionate, patient, and truly forgiving. She won't come back to me if I am angry. She might not come back in any case, but for sure, I cannot be angry.
I'll be thinking of you flirting with your husband!
