Andrea, I know what you are going through. They can get very defensive when we question them like we don't trust them. I'm not sure if it's post guilt that they get reminded of when we treat them as though they are still decieving us,or if it's frustration that they think we will never trust them again. Maybe some of both. You have opoligized to him so there is nothing much more you can do except act as if. Act as if this argument is over. If he wants to drag it on that's his perogative, but as far as your concerned it's history. I know your hurt and angry at his reaction. Until he gets over his anger he won't be rational about it. They say never strike while the iron is hot. I think there is alot of merit in that. When things cool down, then maybe you can tell him why you were frightened, and talk about it. Right now is not the time. Go about your business, being pleasant to him even if you don't feel like it. Don't stoop to his behavior of not talking to one another. You don't have to be the one to make up or say your sorry anymore, just behave in a civil manor towards him. Would this be a 180 for you in this sitchuation? I know in the past when my H would do something that would hurt me I would freeze up for days. Now I let most things roll off my shoulder because I know this behavior does not bring us closer together, and for me it's more of the same behavior I used to engage in that he hated. No matter if he is doing some of the same things you do not like. If ONE of you doesn't change then NOTHING will change. Does that make sense? I know this will be hard when you are hurt and angry, but to continue like this will only prolong that hurt and anger. It stinks we have to be the ones to stick our necks out there and behave in a different manor when they are acting like little boys, but SOMEONE has to do something different. Maybe, just maybe, if WE do something different long enough, they will start to also. Hope this helps in some small way, Rachael
