So... after a "little bad mood" i need to post the positve right now...The thing is that he got mad one morning, bad mood, only bc there wasnt at the refrigerator the diete drink he use to drinh... he even didnt say goodbye that morning to me bc that with a kiss as he use to do every morning... So, i get mad too, i get furious bc he get that mood towards me bc an insignificant thing, Life is not about Diet drink, life has many other difficults points and problems to get mad... But i work myself a lot trying not to let him disturb and alter my mood and happines... and also did a big 180... instead of trying to talk about it, or trying to resolve the problem looking at him as anything had happen, i decide he has to be the one who look for a reconciliation and stop the fight... as the way he want it... but not me... and i also decide i need to show him i was furious, bad bc his reaction... So, yesterday i went to a reunion at other city in my country, a work reunion... i didnt talk at all by phone to him... when i arrived ome, he was there... i didnt say hello (so, you didnt say goodbywe to me bc that stupidity.... now i am the one who doesnt say hi bc i am mad)... i work a little at the pc... so to sleep... this morning, when the ring bell sounded... he look for me, give me lovely kisses... and this was his way to tell me "hey i am sorry... yes, i want to makes peaces with you" So... the positive here is: 1- i get mad but control myself and didnt show him a change in my mood with children or my day, i was happy but mad with him... 2. he look for a resolution... and ask for forgivness, not me...!!... in his way, but perfectly valuable... andrea
Quote: The thing is that he got mad one morning, bad mood, only bc there wasnt at the refrigerator the diete drink he use to drinh
Oh, Andrea, this is making me laugh! My H used to get really upset if the orange juice wasn't made in the morning. Now mind you, I get up before him to get our three kids ready for school, so I'm pretty busy in the morning; I don't drink orange juice, so I don't really know when the pitcher's getting low; and it's frozen orange juice, so it's not like it's complicated to make! Still, for some reason, this simple thing has some kind of hidden meaning for my H - like if I really loved him, I would keep his orange juice pitcher filled. Sounds silly, but after DBing, I decided it didn't really matter if I thought it was unimportant - it matters to him, so now I make sure there's orange juice as an act of love for him.
Ha! You gotta laugh at the stuff they freak over! For my H, it was having his socks in his drawer. If they were not in there instead of going to find them in the laundry room himself he'd get mad-slam his dresser drawers, and cop a real attitude. They turn into little boys when they are like this and are having somewhat of a temper tantrum. I'm glad to know my H is not the only one! You did great Andrea. Rachael
Kml excellent reflextion...!... yes, sometimes we dont put a lot of meanings to things seems to be the top of the world for them and that means to them how much we love them Rachael, so... every men is similar... thanks for the support. andrea
I can remeber the thing to freak out over for H was picking stuff up. You know, the clutter around that just sort of spawns itself. He would say things like, "why can't the junk mail be thrown away instead of just sitting here?"
Gee H I don't know, but it is not any more difficult for you to throw away as it is for me.
And now that I am reflecting on this I'm wondering what he would say are MY Freaking out issues???? hummm how does that play into this?
I know mine - people sliding the cutting board back in when it still has crumbs on it! Not an issue now, though, since we never use that cutting board, but use these portable ones I keep in a cupboard.
Hi everyone. I hope your life is better each day for you all. There arent too much to tell you since my last report about my R and M. Everything is working OK. Although I need to be sincere with you, expressing that I had felt a little mixed and scare, a feeling I hadnt felt since a long time. Maybe bc my h is being a lot demanding and critic about those issues I believe arent as important as he feel or think. Bit I am trying a lot to work on an advice one of you tell me: Sometimes we need to care about that stupid things or issue that have a lot of meanings for them. The scare is bc in the past, when he was in full MLC and all our problems began, he was a lot of critic and demand, everything I made was a mistake, an erro. But I need to look out at the difference. Now he express to me that things he hate in other way, I express to him my disconfort to his critics or when I think this critics are not real or false based in other way, and we continue loving and taking care of each other both trying to take care about that.! I need to remember the great 180 we both are applying right now in our R in that issue. I also want to share with you the excelent experience I had lived as a teacher (a new facet in my working life) of script and production for radio and also to share with you the terrific 180 my h had done expressing me his admiration bc the results I got in the first class, in his way, but he had expressed me his admiration and this means a lot for me. He is getting home early, he is being affective, so, my scare is not based on reality and I need to work on this and continue enjoying the present. Well, thats all till now, see you around and for all you my best wishes Andrea
So... here i am, wanting to receive some expert and kindly advices for an specific moment in my R. Yesterday night my h and i talked by phone. Me telling him i was going to a work meeting at 7:00pm so i will arrived home lately night, and him telling me he was going to stay at his clinic bc some checks were doing to his sister that had pesented some health problems (not critical but she need some checks). So, he told me he will go home lately too. I arrived home at 9:00pm and he wasnt there yet. 10:00, 11:00 and nothing. Began to rain in my city. I dont know why but rain makes me feel nervous and anxious, also i need to be sincere that also i felt anxious bc past actions and behavior of my h. . I decide to put him a beeper, so, he answered calling to home. Maybe bc the past i refered before, i heard him as he was drinking, but he wasnt. But bc my "bad assumption", after he said "Hi" i responded inmediatly Where are you!?? He didnt like my response and asnwer me, in a bad bad mood, "In the clinic, where do you think i can be...?!! next in a minute, bc i have some problems with my PC..
Ok, here i am again... After that answere from my h i realize what i was doing... reflexting him my doubts and remaining memories...!!... so, i said... How is your sister... "the operation is finishing right now!... Operation?...!!... why...?... you told me there were gpoing to make some routine checks".... "Yes" he answered again angry "but they decide it was necessary to make the intervention.... Then i told him if he was angry bc my answer, and he told me "How cant i be..." and hang down the phone...!! He arrived half an hour later, angry, in bad mood, i asked him how was all with her sister. At first he didnt asnwered me, then he answered me briefly and showt. So i said i was sorry bc my first question hen he called... He told me he didnt want to talk (the typical behavior i hate from him in the past), i insist I was asking for forgivness as he had asked in other ocassions he did a mistake and i always apologyze him... He again, so angry, told me he didnt want to speak... I didnt say anything more, and both get to sleep...!!
This morning, i left the children to school, returned home (he was there) and no words at all, neither from me, also i said "good morning" briefly and shortly when he wake up...!!... He left home to work, and i am here working a little and then writing to you all... So.... i know i had made a big mistake... i know i can justify my bistake bc the past, mostly bc i need to go ahead from that... but I HATE HIM reacting the same way as always... I DONT HAVE NEVER RIGHTS TO APOLOGYZE or say I AM SORRY... Remember the day he went to a discotheque, ask for forgivness, and i accept it...!!... WHY THAT TIME YES, AND THIS TIME NO...? By the other side, what can be a good 180 response for this problem by me...?. In the past i will not talk at all to him as he didnt want to talk to me and also bc i was feeling bad and angry... i have rights to feel angry bc the injustice, dont you think...? Waiting for your support and advices.... Andrea
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