It's that time of year as the weather gets cooler, the mornings crisper. Snuggling deep, creating a soothing pocket of warmth makes getting out of bed a little harder each day.
When all this happened, my emotions were raw. I struggled to manage them to all but my very dearest friends and closest family. All the emotional chaos, severing of a bond that meant the world to me, the family so changed, his actions so stupefying all pellet at my exterior defenses to break the barriers I've kept for so long.
The giving up in the marriage.. .. crap, I can't go back to talking about that right now...
Anyway.. this has forced change, letting down my walls to me, keeping them high with him. I listen, I hear, I apply what I learn, I screw up, the world keeps on turning.
I am slowly becoming naked, revealed to myself. Have you ever broken a fingernail to the nail bed? If the nail has been long the now exposed finger tip is extremely sensitive to touch. Yes, it hurts a bit to feel, yet it's tempered with greater understanding. At the end of the tears there's a smile. Dropping the rope stops the the anger. Letting go allows me to go on.
During the autumnal season of change and endings, I begin the spring of my rebirth... by sleeping naked... or perhaps awakening so.
Dang.. where's an international phone plan when you need one!
I am working on it. Last time FG costed me too much and I got "your English sounds hairy". I didnt have enough coins to answer back to him... I will soon have a "free to US calls" landline connection. I will let you know... Love K
PS I am looking for a lot more. "Ask and you shall receive", right?
Oh Gypsy friend, your words are so beautiful, your soul even more so. I always look forward to your passion, your strength, your compassion. Please know that so many here admire you and find your words to be uplifting and inspirational...I know I do. Each day that passes we find more strength for ourselves. This has been a journey through so much strife, but ended with so much wonder. I would have never chose this path but I am glad I learned the lessons I did. I love you sweetie and look to hearing your point of view!
Broken Hearted ------------------ Me - 36 H - 37 S - 8 Married - 1992 ILYNILWY - August 2007 Moved Out - March 2008 OW Revieled - May 28, 2008 Filed for D - July 2, 2008
