It's that time of year as the weather gets cooler, the mornings crisper. Snuggling deep, creating a soothing pocket of warmth makes getting out of bed a little harder each day.
When all this happened, my emotions were raw. I struggled to manage them to all but my very dearest friends and closest family. All the emotional chaos, severing of a bond that meant the world to me, the family so changed, his actions so stupefying all pellet at my exterior defenses to break the barriers I've kept for so long.
The giving up in the marriage.. .. crap, I can't go back to talking about that right now...
Anyway.. this has forced change, letting down my walls to me, keeping them high with him. I listen, I hear, I apply what I learn, I screw up, the world keeps on turning.
I am slowly becoming naked, revealed to myself. Have you ever broken a fingernail to the nail bed? If the nail has been long the now exposed finger tip is extremely sensitive to touch. Yes, it hurts a bit to feel, yet it's tempered with greater understanding. At the end of the tears there's a smile. Dropping the rope stops the the anger. Letting go allows me to go on.
During the autumnal season of change and endings, I begin the spring of my rebirth... by sleeping naked... or perhaps awakening so.
