Im going to journal a bit because Im so sad that it feels like we are on a downward spiral again.
H and I have been doing fine, and Im realizing this because I haven't turned him down for S since he's been home until the other night. This was becuase my son was sick and I was just starting to get sick and have not slept in two night. He was really mad and actually got out of bed and went downstairs. Was cold and mean the rest of the next day. He was supposed to take Sunday off, and didn't. He could have, and didn't. This is so disturbing to me, as we hardly get to see him because if work, which I totally understand and then he actually has an opportunity to stay home and doesn't.
Hardly spoke to me last night after he got home, He said he had meetings all over tomorrow. I told him he wouldn't be able to take my car because S2 has school.
Well I woke up this morning, CAR GONE!! he left me his car seat.. which means he wants me to drive the truck (its too big, I've never driven it.) PLUS S5 is having another wave of sickness, he couldn't swallow this morning, so I definately can't take the truck becuase its a two seater. Didn't even wake me this morning to tell me so I didn't rush around getting the kids ready. I tried calling him, and either his phone is off or dead.
I know this may all sound so trivial to some, but this is just another issue I have with him. Being so inconsiderate, avoiding me instead of dealing.
He doesn't have his priorities straight, I know he has to go out and make money, Believe me I know, Ive been with him for almost 20 years, I know. But something has to give. He's losing his family slowly but surely and doesn't even seem to care.
He has got to make time for us, and for the kids. I've just about had enough. Ya, going to disney is great, but If I could have him home on the wkends or even just on Sunday for the whole winter, I would take thaa instead of a trip anywhere.
me: 37 H: 44 Married for 18 years this june S7 S3 porn issues, and much more... since 7/06
Happiness can be found, even in the darkest of times, if one only remembers to turn on the light.
